Making Games (Part 1)

Posted in Development with tags , , , , on 23 July, 2014 by Noyemi

A while ago, I made a short series about how not to make a Yume Nikki fangame. It wasn’t that good and not only did I write it in a condescending way, I basically set up readers to set their goals low from jump street, creating impossible conditions to satisfy. Instead of a full do-over of that, I’ll be talking with broad strokes, and mainly try to focus on that general area of games still (adventure games) but talking in a bit more of a food-for-thought way than a “do this or else your game will suck” way. Think of it as some thinks to think about as you make your game, whether it’s a straight Yume Nikki clone, or something else completely (detective sim?)

Think about the unique features of your development environment. Do you use RPG Maker? Be mindful of your resolution and work with it, not against it, to achieve the best results. RM2k/3 is great for SNES or MSX looks. Design the art in a way that works with the fidelity and colour gamut that the engine or maker is capable of. If you’re not a fan of the colour gamut limitations or the very low resolution, choose a different engine. Bear in mind the amount of control your environment gives you, too—scratch coders will always have the most control, but you can match them with clever tricks!

Think about the premise of your game. Is it to tell a story? To immerse the player in a unique and foreign environment? Think about how the environment is opened up to the player. Think about how to convey the story. Would the player feel as if they’ve gotten this storyline before? Are they getting enough information to process into thoughts about the game’s events? Add as much interest as you can. Having everything be examinable is not a bad thing for some people, and those who don’t like it can simply avoid it. It should be fun filling in details and giving your players insight into the character’s thought process, or the world, or some combination of those!

If you’re making a derivative work to any degree, think about how much of a service you do to yourself and players by making it your own. Miserere used Yume Nikki as a jumping-off point to send players on a strange adventure, familiar and yet completely foreign. You can succeed making your work closer to the original, but it becomes more difficult to be noticed for making such a creation as time goes on and you find yourself rushing to keep up with everyone else. Good clones do exist, such as Yume 2kki, Ultra Violet, and Someday. They all have many elements of the original work, but they also add some big new elements that identifies them and makes them stand out. Whatever your decision, don’t be afraid to break the mold—you could create a standout piece.

Start a blog or set up a social media presence, brand your work, and communicate with your future players. You can also use this opportunity to network with other developers, share tips, and learn from them. Don’t go too crazy and blog every single progress point—while it is exciting to finish a sprite, fans will be disappointed if a game never appears. Use your best judgment.

That’s all for now, in later posts I’ll be tackling more specific advice.

Part I | Part II

Kickstarter Scams: Potato Salad Copycats

Posted in Humour with tags , , , , on 10 July, 2014 by Noyemi

Okay guys, the original wasn’t even that fucking funny. Maybe the 50,000 copycats think they’ll be The Next Potato Salad™, maybe they think they’re funny, or maybe they think that the magical and strange land of the internet will grant them thousands of its hard-earned cash for coming up with the most WOAH WACKY ZANY RANDUMB bullshit.

Those low goals? Insurance policy, of course! Maybe the Potato Salad KS won’t make nearly as much money as it looks like it will (there’s always some shenanigans on KS, even when you don’t count Amazon’s cut).

But for now, you can enjoy these great and funny “parodies” of the Potato Salad Kickstarter! Woah!


Lemon Cake!

Cookie Salad!

Peanut Butter and fucking Jelly!

Fucking seriously, there are dozens of these coming in every hour.

Doobie Og Hous has opened

Posted in Humour with tags , , , , on 31 May, 2014 by Noyemi

It’s been open for about a few weeks and there’s already a lot of fun to be had. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Here’s the menu:

Yeah. That’s right. $1.80 for fries. But, you sure get a lot!

Let’s see what else Doobie’s up to. How about the dogs? You saw the kickstarter pics, what do they look like in action?

Lovely, isn’t it? When you visit Doobie’s, this is what you get! An “all new” cost-cutting measure, saving the owner pennies per dog! (It’s not like you sell enough for that to make a difference, you twat.)

“But Noyemi, surely he’s doing it for aesthetic! It’s art, to sell such a long dog with that much bun missing! It’s not cost-cutting!”

Why the fuck would you need to go up in price, you troglodyte? Oh, right, because your shit business is already failing.

Right now, I’m glad I gave him $5, because now I get to see him fail miserably as his poor decisions start to spiral out of control and anger his customers. Soon, patronage at his restaurant will be a litmus test for idiots in Reform, Alabama. Well it already was, wasn’t it?

Cheap Ass Comiks: The Update

Posted in Humour with tags , , , , , on 8 May, 2014 by Noyemi

Recently, I’ve been contacted by the Cheap Ass Comiks guys on this site, through the glorious medium of the comments section. I’ve allowed them to be published, because now the world can know that in addition to penning and drawing some of the world’s least funny comics, they aren’t above trying to threaten and pick on young women with mental disorders which require medicine.

Here’s a few:

This goes out to the writer of this post:

Fucking Right! It’s about time somebody talks about Cheap Ass Comiks!! You (Asshole) have given us the greatest gift of all….a negative critique:) Do you really think we give a shit about your words, as a matter a fact we appreciate the gesture. You obviously know nothing about our history and what we have been going through for the last 20 years to get this idea of ours off the ground!

Don’t take it the wrong way, we are not angry with you, on the contrary, we are delighted at the fact that some random dipshit pansy has taken the time out of his not-so-busy schedule to spew the written garbage that has assaulted our eyes!

I bet it feels great to sit (and hide) behind a computer screen… is probably the greatest feeling in the world to know that you can pretty much say anything you want (with complete disregard of others) and not have to worry about someone kicking you in the mouth:)

In conclusion, we will just like to clarify the Cheap Ass Comiks NEVER WAS and NEVER WILL BE a scam! We only wish to bring laughter and joy to people of our planet and hopefully prevent pathetic virgins (like yourself) from creating these shallow, judgmental, self-righteous pieces of shit and trying to pass it off as “journalistic gold”. Don’t quit your day job of being an asshole sniffer and leave the comedy to the professionals:)


Internet tough-guying, check. Lack of a valid point or criticism, check. Getting my sex wrong and throwing around the “virgin!!1!” insult, check. As others pointed out in the comments, it’s a bit hypocritical to mention “talking shit, hiding behind a computer” when you’re doing essentially the same thing. Of course he tried to deny making any kind of threat, but the highlighted language suggests that if I were there, right in front of him, he’d assault me.

Next, when I mentioned he didn’t have any fans after supposedly 20 years of penning terrible comics and unfunny scripts, he went on to say I’ve been making a final fantasy knock-off… which, on my own site is kind of stupid, because only followers who have played my games actually read it. Oh, and he tried to poke fun at me having schizoaffective disorder, which is something anyone with a grain of decency would do:

I guess for those that can’t comprehend what they read, nowhere in that post did it threaten to kick anyone. It pretty much said it must be nice to talk shit without the possibility of any retaliation, pretty much the I’m a giant coward unless I am behind my computer screen syndrome, which you must suffer with as well as all your other problems you had for your little pity me party, because your life is so damn hard, ha ha. Take your meds, you need to be sane because there are other games that need to be copied out there for you.

Better still, he shared a link to my article and a snippet of his “sick burn” on twitter and his facebook, which are both void of any fan activity. He even liked his own comment on the link.

Now, normally I don’t get caught up in this kind of childish mud-flinging, besides with the Brutal Carnage guys. And at least they could actually get a kickstarter pledge or three. But I think this will probably be the most positive (and only) publicity these guys ever get for their work. Nice job “laying down the law on a sucka”, now hear those crickets chirping? That’s the sound of your fans sharing your sickk burnzz with all their friends.

Amihailu in Dreamland: Now on Mac!

Posted in Development with tags , , , , , , on 19 April, 2014 by Noyemi

Hey everyone! RPGOSX has kindly made a real mac port of Amihailu in Dreamland! Get it here!

It’s the latest version!

Find Adventure in Lumina!

Posted in Development with tags , , , , , , on 16 April, 2014 by Noyemi

Hey guys, I’ve uploaded a new demo, ready to play! (Version Alpha 1; wait for updates if you’d like to play a more complete game. Comes with a small dungeon and a miniboss creature.)

It’s Lumina, a fantasy RPG adventure! Sound cliche? It takes place in the Amihailu in Dreamland Universe, so it has all of the bizarre NPCs and strangely compartmentalized worlds you’ve come to expect!

Battles are kind of tough to start, but the object of developing this game, for me, is to make a portion of the battles a small strategic puzzle, with the small numbers ensuring quick but deadly fights. Use your best strategies (focus fire? Flashbangs?) to conquer new enemies and make use of items that you can buy or find in the environment to help you during or after a battle. And lastly, specials are a godsend and you’ll quickly find yourself on the losing end of a gun barrel if you aren’t sparing with them! Eventually, the combat will be more item-based, but currently it’s about rationing hits to the right enemy.

And there’s another thing—find your friends! Talk to people and search your environment to find helpful tips, secrets, and useful items. An extra hand in combat dramatically improves your chances of success, and each new person brings new opportunities to the fray!

Hell Diary Update Coming… Eventually

Posted in Development with tags , , , , , on 12 April, 2014 by Noyemi


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