Need Music?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on 29 July, 2014 by Noyemi

I want to work for you! (Yes, you!)

I’ve done music in a number of styles, and I’m ready to take my show to the next level and offer my services to others.

So, if you need a tune, or you like what I do and you need me on the line for a contract of sorts, drop me a line at kseihya@gmail.com.

And pricing is negotiable, I wouldn’t worry about it if, say, you were doing a Yume Nikki game or some such.

Making Games (Part 2)

Posted in Development on 26 July, 2014 by Noyemi

In part 1, we painted with some broad strokes to meet the most basic needs of getting started. Tonight, we’re going to tighten it up a bit and talk about getting started in more detail—after all, which part do you start with first? When’s a good time to show off? Like with any other question to game development, there are a few answers. Better still for you, a lot of those answers are good ones for the question at hand.

  1. Where do I start? Well, I recommend starting with game assets and logic right off the bat. If you work better with art to work off of for designs, you can do that before committing to any visuals. I keep them in my head, or choose themes closely related to other designs or observations I like in real life, but some people work better with other ways. Remember that neither methodology is inferior, particularly when they’re all means to the same end. Further from that still, there are some people who go right to the PR step from the start. It’s not necessarily wrong in my opinion, but it’d go over a bit better if you have screenshots and videos of actual in-engine play before trying to drum up a little hype for your game.
  2. What tools do I need before I get started? For this, you could have anywhere from everything you need to put together another “blockbuster” RM Horror to a toolset as barebones as notepad and MS Paint. I recommend having templates made for your custom graphics, a music sequencer of some kind and some VSTs or sample sets, your engine (RPG Maker most likely), and a few buddies to help test your game if you don’t want to do open testing (which has specific advantages and disadvantages).
  3. Where do I go for help? There are a number of people with tutorials, patience, and lots of experience out there for you to get help from with anything from music, to event programming. Recently, Bleet’s rebranded her one-woman studio to Pixelboom Games, which has a lot of tutorials that serve as an excellent starting point for new users to 2k3, and other engines also have large and experienced support communities. These people make quality games with generally impressive and creative programming, and you can learn a lot from befriending them. Of course, there’s also myself.
  4. What was that about a PR step? Oh, right. The PR step is basically where you start putting together a public presence for your game. It’s related to testing, in that there are several methods for testing that impact how the PR for your game will work. I’ll get into those later, because the subject is a little complex and involves a little bit of psychology. But for now, just think of the different ways to get your game’s word out there, so to speak, and when to do it. This could be at any time, though the best results come from publishing info and a finished game at the same time, I’m told. Most people in the RM stage begin the PR step before completing a game, though that’s fine too. I recommend having significant progress, and not starting specific media profiles for your game until a playable build is close to release. This is mostly because people will forget if they have to wait too long, and the response won’t be as you’d hoped.
  5. Can I start right now and leave your inevitable future text-bricks to get dusty? Sure!

I hope I’ve provided you with enough thought to get to work, but if you’re not quite yet ready, go ahead and check out that name I dropped, or wait for the next article! Got some questions? Well, head on over to my tumblr I linked and ask some. Maybe they’ll make it into an article!

Part I | Part II

Making Games (Part 1)

Posted in Development with tags , , , , on 23 July, 2014 by Noyemi

A while ago, I made a short series about how not to make a Yume Nikki fangame. It wasn’t that good and not only did I write it in a condescending way, I basically set up readers to set their goals low from jump street, creating impossible conditions to satisfy. Instead of a full do-over of that, I’ll be talking with broad strokes, and mainly try to focus on that general area of games still (adventure games) but talking in a bit more of a food-for-thought way than a “do this or else your game will suck” way. Think of it as some thinks to think about as you make your game, whether it’s a straight Yume Nikki clone, or something else completely (detective sim?)

Think about the unique features of your development environment. Do you use RPG Maker? Be mindful of your resolution and work with it, not against it, to achieve the best results. RM2k/3 is great for SNES or MSX looks. Design the art in a way that works with the fidelity and colour gamut that the engine or maker is capable of. If you’re not a fan of the colour gamut limitations or the very low resolution, choose a different engine. Bear in mind the amount of control your environment gives you, too—scratch coders will always have the most control, but you can match them with clever tricks!

Think about the premise of your game. Is it to tell a story? To immerse the player in a unique and foreign environment? Think about how the environment is opened up to the player. Think about how to convey the story. Would the player feel as if they’ve gotten this storyline before? Are they getting enough information to process into thoughts about the game’s events? Add as much interest as you can. Having everything be examinable is not a bad thing for some people, and those who don’t like it can simply avoid it. It should be fun filling in details and giving your players insight into the character’s thought process, or the world, or some combination of those!

If you’re making a derivative work to any degree, think about how much of a service you do to yourself and players by making it your own. Miserere used Yume Nikki as a jumping-off point to send players on a strange adventure, familiar and yet completely foreign. You can succeed making your work closer to the original, but it becomes more difficult to be noticed for making such a creation as time goes on and you find yourself rushing to keep up with everyone else. Good clones do exist, such as Yume 2kki, Ultra Violet, and Someday. They all have many elements of the original work, but they also add some big new elements that identifies them and makes them stand out. Whatever your decision, don’t be afraid to break the mold—you could create a standout piece.

Start a blog or set up a social media presence, brand your work, and communicate with your future players. You can also use this opportunity to network with other developers, share tips, and learn from them. Don’t go too crazy and blog every single progress point—while it is exciting to finish a sprite, fans will be disappointed if a game never appears. Use your best judgment.

That’s all for now, in later posts I’ll be tackling more specific advice.

Part I | Part II

Kickstarter Scams: Potato Salad Copycats

Posted in Humour with tags , , , , on 10 July, 2014 by Noyemi

Okay guys, the original wasn’t even that fucking funny. Maybe the 50,000 copycats think they’ll be The Next Potato Salad™, maybe they think they’re funny, or maybe they think that the magical and strange land of the internet will grant them thousands of its hard-earned cash for coming up with the most WOAH WACKY ZANY RANDUMB bullshit.

Those low goals? Insurance policy, of course! Maybe the Potato Salad KS won’t make nearly as much money as it looks like it will (there’s always some shenanigans on KS, even when you don’t count Amazon’s cut).

But for now, you can enjoy these great and funny “parodies” of the Potato Salad Kickstarter! Woah!

Pizza!

Lemon Cake!

Cookie Salad!

Peanut Butter and fucking Jelly!

Fucking seriously, there are dozens of these coming in every hour.

Doobie Og Hous has opened

Posted in Humour with tags , , , , on 31 May, 2014 by Noyemi

It’s been open for about a few weeks and there’s already a lot of fun to be had. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Here’s the menu:

Yeah. That’s right. $1.80 for fries. But, you sure get a lot!

Let’s see what else Doobie’s up to. How about the dogs? You saw the kickstarter pics, what do they look like in action?

Lovely, isn’t it? When you visit Doobie’s, this is what you get! An “all new” cost-cutting measure, saving the owner pennies per dog! (It’s not like you sell enough for that to make a difference, you twat.)

“But Noyemi, surely he’s doing it for aesthetic! It’s art, to sell such a long dog with that much bun missing! It’s not cost-cutting!”

Why the fuck would you need to go up in price, you troglodyte? Oh, right, because your shit business is already failing.

Right now, I’m glad I gave him $5, because now I get to see him fail miserably as his poor decisions start to spiral out of control and anger his customers. Soon, patronage at his restaurant will be a litmus test for idiots in Reform, Alabama. Well it already was, wasn’t it?

Cheap Ass Comiks: The Update

Posted in Humour with tags , , , , , on 8 May, 2014 by Noyemi

Recently, I’ve been contacted by the Cheap Ass Comiks guys on this site, through the glorious medium of the comments section. I’ve allowed them to be published, because now the world can know that in addition to penning and drawing some of the world’s least funny comics, they aren’t above trying to threaten and pick on young women with mental disorders which require medicine.

Here’s a few:

This goes out to the writer of this post:

Fucking Right! It’s about time somebody talks about Cheap Ass Comiks!! You (Asshole) have given us the greatest gift of all….a negative critique:) Do you really think we give a shit about your words, as a matter a fact we appreciate the gesture. You obviously know nothing about our history and what we have been going through for the last 20 years to get this idea of ours off the ground!

Don’t take it the wrong way, we are not angry with you, on the contrary, we are delighted at the fact that some random dipshit pansy has taken the time out of his not-so-busy schedule to spew the written garbage that has assaulted our eyes!

I bet it feels great to sit (and hide) behind a computer screen…..it is probably the greatest feeling in the world to know that you can pretty much say anything you want (with complete disregard of others) and not have to worry about someone kicking you in the mouth:)

In conclusion, we will just like to clarify the Cheap Ass Comiks NEVER WAS and NEVER WILL BE a scam! We only wish to bring laughter and joy to people of our planet and hopefully prevent pathetic virgins (like yourself) from creating these shallow, judgmental, self-righteous pieces of shit and trying to pass it off as “journalistic gold”. Don’t quit your day job of being an asshole sniffer and leave the comedy to the professionals:)

STAY CHEAP AND PROSPER!!

Internet tough-guying, check. Lack of a valid point or criticism, check. Getting my sex wrong and throwing around the “virgin!!1!” insult, check. As others pointed out in the comments, it’s a bit hypocritical to mention “talking shit, hiding behind a computer” when you’re doing essentially the same thing. Of course he tried to deny making any kind of threat, but the highlighted language suggests that if I were there, right in front of him, he’d assault me.

Next, when I mentioned he didn’t have any fans after supposedly 20 years of penning terrible comics and unfunny scripts, he went on to say I’ve been making a final fantasy knock-off… which, on my own site is kind of stupid, because only followers who have played my games actually read it. Oh, and he tried to poke fun at me having schizoaffective disorder, which is something anyone with a grain of decency would do:

I guess for those that can’t comprehend what they read, nowhere in that post did it threaten to kick anyone. It pretty much said it must be nice to talk shit without the possibility of any retaliation, pretty much the I’m a giant coward unless I am behind my computer screen syndrome, which you must suffer with as well as all your other problems you had for your little pity me party, because your life is so damn hard, ha ha. Take your meds, you need to be sane because there are other games that need to be copied out there for you.

Better still, he shared a link to my article and a snippet of his “sick burn” on twitter and his facebook, which are both void of any fan activity. He even liked his own comment on the link.

Now, normally I don’t get caught up in this kind of childish mud-flinging, besides with the Brutal Carnage guys. And at least they could actually get a kickstarter pledge or three. But I think this will probably be the most positive (and only) publicity these guys ever get for their work. Nice job “laying down the law on a sucka”, now hear those crickets chirping? That’s the sound of your fans sharing your sickk burnzz with all their friends.

Amihailu in Dreamland: Now on Mac!

Posted in Development with tags , , , , , , on 19 April, 2014 by Noyemi

Hey everyone! RPGOSX has kindly made a real mac port of Amihailu in Dreamland! Get it here!

It’s the latest version!

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