Elf on a Shelf is just a cute little tradition where you move a little elf doll around your house, out of the kids’ reach. You tell the kid that the elf is watching him or her on behalf of santa, basically just a charming little new tradition around christmas time to get your kids hyped up for presents.
Some people think it’s silly, and that’s okay. Some other people have more immature ways of dealing with their feelings about this.
Do you hate the elf and his stupid shelf? Help me self publish a children’s book that will make children hate the elf. The plot will center somewhere around parents working with Santa to banish this rogue tattle-tale elf and protect children’s constitutional right to privacy. Any other annoying toys you want banished from your house? We can make them part of the elf’s evil band. I am open to suggestions.
It basically boils down to “Waaah I don’t like this, pay me 4 grand to trash this little tradition I don’t have to follow!” It’s like a 13 year old on deviantart drawing himself choking Goku or something because he doesn’t like Dragon Ball. Feel free to hate it all you want, but taking the step of inserting your fantasy into the fiction publicly (and asking for money and support to do it) is indicative of some deeper issues. Anyway.
Polarity is something that is almost completely incomprehensible, yet another project made up of word salad by someone who earnestly believes they’re being profound.
You’ve never seen anything so fucked up til you’ve seen the smartest man in the world flip the switch that destroyed the Earth so he could go fuck his A.I. daughter in another dimension while the woman who loved him could do nothing but watch in horror as she fell into an alternate time space where she was forced to become God to escape.
And now he’s waking up, that motherfucker. He’s down in the base of some building somewhere in the mountains, outside of one of our cities, slagged into ruins after he screwed time and space for everyone by discovering something no one anywhere had ever imagined and called down some unholy hell from every corner of existence. From about a thousand dimensions no one had ever even imagined existed
Yeah, look at that. Is there really even much to say, other than “you’ve gotta see it to believe it”? Oh, what’s this?
He has created another project in the past! And it’s about as pretentious as you’d come to expect. He regales us with his rhetoric of turning our concept of time on its head! Well actually, what he actually does is show us about how he’s a pedantic fuck about the language of dealing with time and doesn’t actually understand, intuitively, what he’s talking about.
Why is this significant? Because for the past to have existed at all, it must have been, at one point, the present. Try and imagine a past moment that was not the present in its own time — you can’t, it’s impossible.
This means that, speaking linearly, the first moment of time in any given timeline must always be the present, not the past — every conceivable timeline starts with a present moment, then there is a second present moment that looks back at the first present moment and says, “that is the past, relative to me.”
This shows us two things. First, it shows us that our definition of time is inadequate for describing how time actually unfolds, because our definition requires that the past come before the present, when in actuality, the present must come first for the past to be able to exist at all.
Woah dude! That Einstein fucker had no idea what he was talking about!
Nah, actually I think the way we think of time normally is perfectly fine. The way modern science thinks of it is even better. If something’s wrong with it, I’m not sure someone who calls themself a “philosopher” with a straight face is the one to point it out.